


An Angel For My Wing Man

by horrorgirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Best Friends, Confusion, First Time, Fluff, M/M, One Night Stands, Sexual Confusion, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:15:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7415302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horrorgirl/pseuds/horrorgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas had always been shy and afraid of women. Dean didn't think he could turn Cas into his wing man, but he was wrong. Cas wasn't just good, Dean had created a monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Angel For My Wing Man

"Oh god, I am so fucking bored." Dean moaned.

"Dean, I don't think that god has anything to do with your boredom."

"Euphemism, Cas. Euphemism." Sometimes Cas's lack of understanding was charming, usually it was annoying. Dean understood that Cas was an angel, and he tried to be patient, but patience wasn't Dean Winchester's strong point. Dean's younger brother, Sam, had his nose buried in his laptop, trying to ignore them. 

"So go somewhere," Sam mumbled. He'd love a little peace and quiet. Peace and quiet wasn't one of Dean's strong points either.

"I would love to, Sammy. The problem is, you won't pull your nose out of books or away from that computer long enough to go with me. I'm tired of going out alone. I need you as my wing man. Chicks seem to dig your...your height? Puppy dog eyes? Dimples? Hell, I don't know what it is, but it works."

"What's a wing man?"

"Ugh..." Cas could be exhausting. "We really need to find him an urban dictionary or something. A wing man is like a friend, or brother," he said pointedly, "who goes to the bar with you, helps you pick up chicks."

"Why do you need a wing man?"

"Cas, if you go to the bar alone, you look...I don't know, desperate."

Sam just laughed, "Dean knows all about that, trust me."

"But with a wing man," Dean continued, ignoring Sam completely, "you get more attention. It's like you're giving them options. Do they like the really tall guy with the long scruffy hair, or do they like the not as tall guy with the piercing green eyes and full lips?"

"Piercing green eyes and full lips? Seriously Dean?" Sam scoffed.

"Hey, I don't advertise, I just listen to what I am told. How long has it been for you, Sammy? I don't think that either one of us has gotten laid since we moved into the bunker."

"I could be your wing man if you need help."

Both of the brothers stopped what they were doing and looked at Cas. Sam had the decency to hold his laughter in, Dean didn't. 

"I don't know, Dean," Sam said. "He is adorable in his own angelic way. Maybe you could pretty him up. Chicks may dig that whole shy and terrified of women thing that he has going on."

"Funny, Sam." Dean muttered.

"I'm just saying..."

Dean turned to look at Cas. He always wore that same damn trenchcoat and cheap suit. He looked disheveled. And Sam was right, he was shy and afraid of women. He had nothing to work with. Okay, maybe the blue eyes would catch their attention, and from the few times that he had seen him shirtless, he seemed to have an okay build. It would still take some serious time and effort to get him into a position to be Dean Winchester's wing man. But it had been a long time...

"I said that I'm bored, Sam. I didn't say that I'm that bored. That would take a lot of work"

"I'm right here. I can hear you."

"Cas, no offense, but you aren't exactly ladies man material." 

Cas just scowled and walked away.

"I'm pretty sure you hurt his feelings," Sam said, looking at his older brother.

"I thought that angels weren't supposed to have feelings. I'll go find him." He didn't have too go far. Cas was in the kitchen, pouting. "If you want to go out, we can go out. But will you at least change your clothes?" Dean knew this was not a good idea, but Cas was his best friend.

"You don't like my clothes?"

"I don't care about your clothes. The thing about going out is that you have to fit in. Appearances, Cas."

"Why would you want to fit in if you want women to notice you?"

"Ugh, you can be so difficult. Do you want to go or not? I'm not going alone, Sam won't go with me, and I'm getting sick of always having to rub one out in the shower."

"Rub one out..."

"Go ask Sam to look that one up for you, I'm not explaining it." Cas turned and left the kitchen, still pouting, 

Dean laughed when he heard Sam, "He asked me to explain what?! Damnit Dean!" He went to his room to lay on his bed and throw on his headphones. At least he could pretend like he hadn't heard anything when Sam came looking for him.

\-------------------------

"So, how was your shower?" Sam asked with a grin when Dean walked into the kitchen to pour his cup of morning coffee.

"Satisfying." Dean smiled. "Where's Cas?"

"Give him a minute. You said his name, he'll show." Cas always showed up when he thought Dean needed him. 

"Hello Dean...Sam."

"Told you" Sam said, standing up from the table.

"Okay, so I thought about it and even though it just might be the worst idea that Sam has ever had, I'm still bored."

"Even after your shower?" Sam laughed.

"Shut up, Sam. Cas, go shower and meet me in my room."

"Dean, did you just proposition Cas?"

"Make sure you have boxers on. Even better, a full length robe. And I do NOT want to hear a play by play of what you did in there."

They both watched Cas walk out of the room and stayed silent until they heard the bathroom door close.

"Dean, you cannot be serious. You are going to scar him for life."

"All I'm going to do is get him to change his clothes and teach him a few pick up lines. He'll be fine. If you would go with me, I wouldn't have to do this. Besides, it might be fun."

"You are sick and twisted, you know that?"

Dean just grinned as Sam turned and left the room to get back to his passionate love affair with his laptop and pile of books.

\-------------------------

"Okay Cas," Dean said, handing Cas a pile of clothes. "Put these on, but at least have the decency to let me turn my back first."

"Done."

Dean turned around, Cas didn't look half bad in his clothes. It was a damn sight better than that suit. "Okay, now leave the hair messy. Ladies love that whole bed head thing. All you need to know are a few rules. First and most important rule, lie."

"Lie?"

"Yes, lie. Don't use a fake first name, you don't want to get drunk and forget which name you used, but never give them a last name."

"I don't have a last name."

"Perfect. They will ask you what you do for a living. Again, lie."

"I'm an angel, Dean."

"Okay, we'll find a way to work around that. We lie about it all of the time anyway. Smile, but not too much. Make sure you compliment them, but not too much. And let them come to you. Honestly you are going to have to play it cool and mysterious, none of the overly serious angel shit. Your name is just Cas, not Castiel. That's too biblical and they'll start asking questions about how your parents came up with it. If you pull the god card, you become the weird crazy guy. When they do ask you what you do for a living, and they will ask, tell them something like you work for a charitable organization but be vague. Very vague, no details. Oh, and always, ALWAYS tell them that you are just passing through town and thought you'd stop for a drink. That puts you in the 'one night stand' zone. Make sure you introduce me right away so that I can back up your story, but try not to interrupt if I already have some minor action going. If I have a tongue down my throat, give me a minute to come up for air. Don't ask for a phone number, and remembering their name is optional. My guess is that you aren't going to need a condom, not anytime soon, but I'll give you one anyway. You know, just in case. Can you remember all of that?"

Cas had his doubts, "I can try."

"You're going to have to. And you'll need to drink. Nothing girly. I know that you hate beer, but just order one and nurse it. As long as you have the bottle in your hand you'll look legit."

"Dean, this seems like a lot of work."

"But so worth it in the end, Cas. Trust me. I will get you laid."

They spent the rest of the day going over the rules and trying to decide where to go. Dean knew that a dive bar was their best bet. Sam just smiled when he watched them head up the stairs and leave. He could not wait to hear about what happened. 

\-------------------------

"Dean..." Cas whispered when they pulled into the parking lot.

"Do not go getting all scared on me now. We haven't even gotten out of the car. I'll be right by your side, you'll be fine. If I get an invitation, then just walk outside and disappear. You can't disappear in there, somebody might notice. Just follow my lead."

Cas took a deep breath and got out of the car. He could already hear the loud rock music. Dean was in a good mood and he didn't want to ruin it, but he didn't know what to expect and he was trying to remember the rules. Cas was almost dizzy when they walked in. The music was so loud people could barely hear each other talk. The entire bar smelled like stale beer and cheap perfume. Women in skintight and skimpy clothes packed the place. For Dean it was perfect, for Cas it was terrifying. He followed Dean to the bar and watched him signal the bartender for two beers. They turned around and leaned back, just watching the crowd. Dean was looking something beautiful but easy, Cas was hoping that nobody would notice him. They hadn't been there for 15 minutes when they were approached by two women. They were decent enough by Dean's standards, although he wanted to keep his options open. Cas introduced himself, but basically just nodded after that. He couldn't hear a thing that the woman was saying and she was standing so close that her breast kept brushing against his arm. He looked over at Dean and saw him smiling and laughing, but playing it cool. These weren't the two that he wanted. When he didn't offer to buy them drinks, they moved on. "Are you having fun yet?" Dean asked. The music was so loud that he had to yell into Cas's ear. Cas just shrugged, at least Dean looked happy. He didn't know what to do when Dean wandered off to the bathroom. He couldn't exactly follow him. He just stood frozen, hoping that Dean would hurry before somebody started to talk to him. 

He wasn't that lucky. 

She was pretty enough, and smelled good when she leaned in with her lips against his ear. She started running her fake nails up and down his arm while she asked him his name, what he did for a living, how long he'd be in town. Cas tried to remember the rules, so he lied. His name was Cas, he worked for a charitable foundation, he was just passing through town with a co-worker and they thought that they'd stop for a drink. She just leaned in closer to drunkenly tell him how sexy he was. He tried to smile and act mysterious, but mysterious was a lot different than mortified. Where in the hell was Dean? She finally leaned in for the kiss. They hadn't talked about this, he didn't know what to do. He tried to relax, but when she started to slip her tongue in his mouth he panicked. That's when Dean finally showed up.

"Hey, Cas. Who's your friend?" Dean could see the look of fear on Cas's face and as funny as it was to him, he felt bad. She introduced herself, her fingers still moving along Cas's arm. Dean wasn't paying attention to what she said, he was watching her hands. He knew that it was time to go, Cas was about to hyperventilate. "Well, we have to hit the road early tomorrow so we'd better get going, right Cas?" Cas just nodded and tried to smile. "It was nice meeting you." Dean grinned and ushered Cas out of the bar. 

"You okay?" he finally asked when they got to the car.

"Where were you, Dean?"

"I went to the bathroom, and then I started mingling."

"Mingling? You left me sitting there by myself."

Dean just sighed, "I thought you'd be fine."

"She kissed me, Dean. I didn't know what to do."

Dean was impressed that Cas actually got hit on his first night out. "If she's hot, kiss her back. It's simple, Cas."

"I don't know how. We never talked about it when you told me the rules."

Dean could see that Cas was almost in tears. "You just kind of go with it, follow her lead."

"Let's just go." Cas was miserable and Dean knew that he'd probably never get him to go out again.

"Okay, nobody can know about this, but girls do it all of the time and it's no big deal." Dean said before he wrapped his hand around the back of Cas's head and leaned in. He pressed his lips to Cas's, a little surprised when he didn't pull away. He encouraged Cas to open his mouth gently, and slid their tongues together. They started to deepen the kiss before Dean finally pulled back. "See, no big deal, right?". He had no idea why he'd done that, maybe because he didn't want Cas to be afraid of being kissed, to be afraid of being touched. Dean was breathing a little heavy, but so was Cas. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot to head home. 

\-------------------------

"How was it?" Sam called over his shoulder when he heard the door open.

"Enlightening." Dean answered.

"Terrifying." Cas answered.

"Sounds like a haunted house, not a bar."

Cas just looked at Sam. Sam could see how watery his eyes were. "Same thing," Cas whispered before he walked to the bathroom. He needed to wash the bar stench from his body.

"What in the hell happened to him?"

Dean sat down across from Sam, "I found him in a lip lock with some brunette and he was freaking the fuck out."

Sam chuckled, "Cas could have scored his first night out?"

"No, Cas would have passed out before they made it to the door."

"So what did you do?"

"We left. What else could I do?" Dean sighed.

"Sounds like a failed experiment to me."

"Yeah, we'll see."

Sam just looked at his brother, "you aren't seriously considering taking him out again are you? Assuming that he'd even go..."

"If you'd have gone with me, Sammy..."

"Oh, don't put this shit on me, Dean."

Dean just walked away and went to his room. He found the clothes that he'd let Cas borrow in a pile on the floor. Normally Cas would at least put them in the laundry basket, he must be really pissed. He stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed. The whole night was one big mistake. He'd just go back to rubbing one out in the shower.

\-------------------------

Cas found Dean sitting at the kitchen table the next morning. "Dean, I'm sorry."

Dean lifted his head and looked at him, "Sorry for what?"

"Ruining your night."

"Cas, I may have scarred you for life. You didn't ruin my night. Well, other than the fact that you had better luck than I did. At least you got some lip action."

Cas just looked at the table, his cheeks were turning pink.

"Wow, okay, awkward comment but you know what I mean. I'm talking about inside the...oh hey Sammy." Sometimes Dean really loved Sam's seemingly impeccable timing.

"Hey. Did you leave me any coffee?"

"Yeah, there's plenty. Pull up a chair."

"Well, I'm going to go." Cas said quietly as he stood up. "I just came by to apologize," and he disappeared.

Sam was confused, "Cas stopped by to apologize? For what?"

"Ruining my night."

"Did you apologize for taking him there in the first place."

"Actually Sam, I did. You were right."

"I usually am."

\-------------------------

"We can go out again if you want."

They were sitting on Dean's bed watching a movie and Dean had started dozing off. "Uh, after the other night I figured you wanted no part of that scene." 

"No, it's fine. I was nervous and got upset, but I kind of liked watching the people. Humans still fascinate me." 

"Sometimes having an angel as a best friend is so weird, no offense."

"None taken. So..."

Dean was still a little stunned, "Yeah, sure. Maybe a weeknight when it isn't so crowded."

"Okay." Cas said, turning back to watch the movie. Dean couldn't doze off now, that was the last thing he expected Cas to say.

\-------------------------

"Tuesday...karaoke night. What do you think?"

Sam just rolled his eyes, "Please tell me that you aren't going to sing."

"Of course I'm going to sing. It's karaoke night. You should come with."

"Not if you're going to sing. Cas, you may want to reconsider." 

"I figure that if he really can sing, it will be nice to listen to. If he can't, it will be nice to watch him make an ass of himself."

Sam burst out laughing, "Oh my god, Cas. Now I almost want to go just to see if Dean makes an ass of himself."

"You guys are fucking hilarious." Dean glared as he walked out of the room.

"Record it on your phone," Sam finally said when he caught his breath. "Please, for me, you need to record that shit on your phone."

\-------------------------

Once again, Cas borrowed some of Dean's clothes but he didn't make him go over the rules again. He knew that he needed to relax, and he really wanted to see if Dean could sing. They got to the bar and when Dean turned to look at him, he was actually kind of smiling. It wasn't nearly as packed and loud as it had been the last time they were there. Again, Dean signaled for two beers and they leaned back against the bar. 

"Are you sure you don't want to sing?"

"No Dean, I definitely don't want to sing."

"But you probably have the voice of an angel..."

"Worst joke ever. Now go sign up or do whatever you have to do. I really want to see this."

They sat back and just watched. Some people were good, most weren't. Every time Dean looked over at Cas, he seemed to be okay, almost having a good time. They called Dean's name and Cas snuck his phone out of his pocket, he'd promised Sam that he'd record it. He was pleasantly surprised that Dean had a good voice and actually got a round of applause. 

"Okay, so Sam was wrong." Cas said when Dean came down off of the stage.

"Yeah, and your video will prove it."

"You saw that..."

Dean just laughed. "You really should get up there and try it."

"I came here and am trying not to be afraid of the people, I can't imagine trying to perform in front of them."

"You're doing good, Cas. If I didn't know you better I'd think that you might actually be enjoying yourself. So, I've got to hit the bathroom. You gonna be okay?"

"I can't exactly follow you."

"I'll be right back, I won't mingle this time." 

Cas just shrugged and leaned back against the bar, holding the bottle full of warm beer. He was still scared, but putting on a brave front. He didn't notice at first when the pretty blonde sidled up next to him. His heart dropped when she introduced herself. Sara? Cindy? Samantha? He had no idea, but one of the rules was that he didn't have to remember. She wasn't coming on strong like the brunette had the other night, she was just talking to him, asking questions. He followed Dean's rules, and she seemed to believe every word that he said. He started to relax. He started to like the attention.

Dean stopped in his tracks when he saw Cas at the bar with some girl whispering in his ear. He didn't know if going over there would be saving Cas, or cock blocking him. He couldn't imagine Cas being ready for the big bang. He watched the girl take Cas's hand and lead him into a dark corner booth, Cas hadn't even looked around the room for him first. He didn't know whether to be impressed or scared. 

Dean was surrounded by a rapt audience listening to him talk passionately about the personal satisfaction he found in working for a charitable foundation when out of the corner of his eye, he saw the blonde walk from the dark corner and out the door. He waited to see if Cas would follow, but he didn't. He made an excuse to end the conversation and went in search of Cas. "So?" he asked, sliding into the booth.

"So...what?" Cas asked him. 

"What happened?"

"She asked if I wanted to go somewhere."

"And you're still sitting here?" Dean couldn't see Cas's face in the shadows, but he knew that he was blushing.

"Dean, I barely knew what to do when she kissed me. There's no way I could do...that."

"Seriously Cas, you need to start watching porn or something."

"I know the fundamentals Dean, I just didn't know her. I'm not like you. I'm going to go now." Cas stood up and started walking away. Dean reached out to grab his wrist.

"Cas, just stay. It's early."

"I really don't want to be here anymore. Sorry if I'm making you look desperate by leaving, but I need to go." Cas pulled his arm away from Dean and left. 

\-------------------------

"Dude, why do you always sound off key when you sing in the car but you can pull it off at karaoke night?" Sam asked without turning around.

"Cas sent you the video."

"Yeah, and it's not half bad. Where is Cas?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. He bailed on me."

"Why? What did you do?"

"Seriously Sam? I didn't do anything. He bailed because some hot blonde invited him to her place."

"Why would he..."

"Again, your guess is as good as mine. I'm going to go jump in the shower, and no, not one of those showers."

Sam chuckled as he watched his brother walk down the hall. Cas had almost scored twice and Dean had struck out. That had to be driving Dean nuts.

Dean found his clothes in a pile on the floor again. He had no idea what he'd done wrong this time. He'd made sure that he was either there with Cas or had his eye on Cas. The only time he didn't was when Cas took off with some chick. 

\-------------------------

"What the fuck was that all about?" Dean asked Cas when he showed up a couple of days later.

"What?"

"You bailed on me and then just dumped my clothes on my floor."

"I'm just frustrated, Dean. It's not your fault."

"Frustrated by what?"

Cas just looked down in awkward silence.

"Cas, you've almost gotten there twice. It's not like you're a teenage boy who's going to shoot his load in his pants the minute he touches a woman. I'm guessing that this is an angel/human issue. Body and brain not working together."

"I guess so. I don't know. Whatever it is that you wanted, it's not going to happen."

"Follow me."

"Dean, where are we going?"

"Follow me before I change my mind."

They got to Dean's room, he shut off the lights and held Cas against the closed door, "This is just like in my car, it's no big deal and nobody needs to know. I'm not Dean, you're not Cas. We're just two bodies. Consider this part of the rules, a lesson. Take off your coat and tie and just listen to me. Okay?" Cas nodded, dropped his coat to the floor and pulled his tie off. Dean put his hands on either sides of Cas's face and kissed him, more deeply this time. "Wait" Cas panted, "aren't I supposed to be the aggressor?" Dean groaned, "You're supposed to be listening." He let Cas push him onto the bed and settle between his legs, "you know a lot more than you thought you did." Dean whispered before he felt Cas's mouth against his again. He wrapped his arms around Cas's body and pulled him close. Cas's mouth was moving along his jaw, across his neck, biting and sucking. "Okay, you've got the neck part figured out." Dean moaned. "Shirts. The shirts have to go." Cas sat up and made quick work of the buttons while Dean reached out to push it off of his shoulders, both shirts landed together on the floor. "Back to the neck thing," Dean whispered. His breath caught when Cas sat up and started massaging his chest, "It's not quite the same, but yeah...keep doing that." he moaned. He had started rocking his hips without even realizing it, Cas started rocking back. Dean could feel himself growing hard. "Okay, while you're working the chest you have to...oh god..." he panted when he felt Cas dip his head and swirl his tongue around a sensitive nipple, gently rolling the other one between his fingers. He stopped swirling and took it into his mouth, sucking and nipping. Dean was arching against Cas's mouth. He kissed and sucked across Dean's chest to the other nipple, still massaging with his hands. "I can't show you anything below the belt...I don't have the right equipment..." Dean whispered. Cas reached down and started rubbing him through his pants anyway, "obviously you get the general idea. Feel free to keep practicing...oh my god Cas." Cas kissed a line down his stomach, running his tongue along the waistband of his jeans. Dean had grown so hard that it hurt. "You've got to...seriously...I need to go take a shower or something..." Cas undid his pants and freed his hard cock, "I know what rub one out means" he whispered as he wrapped his hand around Dean and started stroking. Dean was gently thrusting his hips against Cas's hand, moaning, throbbing. "I really need to..." he groaned before he came all over Cas's hand and his stomach. He laid there panting, not quite sure what just happened. He remembered to reach for the tissues that he kept on his nightstand and handed them to Cas. Cas had him cleaned up and tucked back into his pants before he stood up, grabbed his clothes, and said, 'I don't want this to get awkward so this nameless body is going to take off and let that nameless body go shower or do whatever it needs to do." and he disappeared.

"What in the fuck did I just do?" Dean whispered in the dark.

\-------------------------

They both pretended like nothing had happened, and Sam didn't seem to catch on. Cas wanted to go out and Dean figured that the worst case scenario would be that Cas would get frustrated and leave again. 

It wasn't karaoke night, but it was a weeknight. Dean still thought it would be better if the crowd were smaller. Cas was more relaxed, more confident. They had women approaching them all night. Usually in pairs but sometimes one would come to talk to Dean, or one would come to talk to Cas. They even had one come up to talk to both of them, at the same time. Dean finally found a pair that he decided to buy drinks for. Cas was lying and being vague, sticking to the rules. Cas was charming and funny, 'his' girl was completely enamored. Dean was proud, he knew that neither one of them would have to spend the night alone. He just hoped that Cas could get through it, and he was glad that he'd given him some condoms. He grinned when Cas finally left and he went on to order another round for him and 'his' own girl. She lived alone in a small apartment and he was more than happy to spring for a cab, he'd pick up his car in the morning. As far as she knew they had to leave town early anyway. They left a trail of clothing from the front door to the bedroom before she pushed Dean on his back, rolled on a condom, and started sliding up and down his cock. It had been so long since he'd been with a woman, and it felt so good that he just hoped he wouldn't come too soon. It wasn't until he rolled her onto her back, threw her legs over his shoulders, and fucked her hard that he finally exploded. He rolled off of her and let her take care of the condom and the cleanup. When she crawled back into bed and tried to curl up next to him he just pointed at the clock and said that he had to be on the road in a couple of hours. He kissed her gently on the lips, threw his clothes on, and started dialing the number for a cab as he shut the door behind him. He didn't even know what her name was, but he knew that she'd never forget him.

He finally got back home as the sun was coming up and he was exhausted. He stumbled to his room and fell asleep, fully clothed.

\-------------------------

When Dean finally woke up he noticed two things. He hadn't even bothered to take his boots off, and there was no pile of clothes on his floor. Cas must still have them. Cas must have finally gotten laid. He took off his boots, grabbed some clean clothes, and headed towards the shower. He didn't even know what time it was.

\-------------------------

"Successful night?" Sam asked when he finally dragged himself into the main room and sat at the table.

"Very," he grinned. "Cas bailed on me again, with a chick, and she was hot."

Sam just raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Damn, maybe I should start going out with you guys."

"Your loss was Cas's gain, Sammy. Where is Cas? We know he isn't sleeping it off because of that whole angels don't need sleep thing, and he has my clothes."

"You just said his name, give it a minute."

A minute passed, ten minutes passed, and hour passed, and still so sign of Cas. 

\-------------------------

Sam had already gone to bed, but since Dean had slept all day he was still up watching TV in his room when Cas finally arrived. He set Dean's neatly folded clothes on top of the dresser. 

"Do you want company? Or are you too tired?"

Dean just grinned at him, "I slept all day. I'm not tired at all. Take a seat."

"So?" Dean asked.

"So...what?"

"C'mon Cas, how did it go? You know, after you left the bar?"

"Good."

"Good? That's all you're going to give me. I've had sex hundreds of times. You've had sex once. So how was it?"

"Is this one of those things that I am obligated to tell you because you are my best friend?"

"Yes, yes it is. In full detail. HD version."

"We had sex. It was good. She really seemed to enjoy it. I felt like an asshole when I left. I came back here and you weren't home yet so I changed my clothes, took yours to a laundromat, and now I'm here."

"Wow...scintillating. That's penthouse forum shit right there. You do know that we have a washer and dryer, right?"

"I didn't want to bother Sam."

"So really," Dean asked. "That's your story? It was good and she seemed to enjoy it? The laundry thing may be the most exciting part."

"What about you?"

"Oh, she fucked me, I fucked her, she screamed my name multiple times, I don't remember her name, I felt like an asshole when I left, and I came home and went to sleep."

"See, your story is pretty much the same as mine, just worded a little differently."

"I'm sorry Cas, but you aren't acting like a guy who just got laid."

"It was my first time..."

"Okay, sorry. I'll leave you alone." Dean was still dying to know the details, but he knew Cas wasn't talking. "You know we can't go back to that bar, right? They both think that we were just blowing through town. But hey, you are one hell of a wing man."

"Am I supposed to say thank you?" Cas looked genuinely confused. Dean could see that whatever happened last night was weighing on his mind, so he wasn't going to crack jokes and make it worse. He owed the guy that much.

"Nah, just take it as a compliment. So, pick a movie. We'll watch whatever you want. I'm not tired and I'm not picky."

Cas finally picked one and they settled back in silence, but Dean was still dying to know.

\-------------------------

They tried a different bar in a different town, and both struck out. Dean walked in the door frustrated. He knew he wasn't going to score every time, but he'd thought that he had an 'in' with a beautiful girl before he watched her leave with some douchebag. He slammed the door and walked past Sam without saying a word, Cas was on his heels. "I get that just because I buy a girl drinks it doesn't mean that she owes me anything," Dean bitched while he sat on the edge of his bed and started untying his boots. "I'm not that big of an asshole." He'd kicked both boots off and thrown his sock in the direction of his laundry basket. "But, I still think that it's total bullshit to set a guy up like that." He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it at his socks. "It's like an unspoken rule, ya know," he let his pants fall to the floor and flopped down on his bed in his boxers. He grabbed his remote control and pushed the pillow behind his back so that he could lean against the headboard. "Are you going to sit down or just stand there?" he glared at Cas. "Make sure you take your boots off before you sit." 

Cas unlaced his boots, shoved his socks inside of them, and climbed on the bed. "I'm sorry, Dean."

Dean took a deep breath, "Don't be. I'm just being a dick." He turned on the TV and turned off the lamp. They sat in silence while Dean tried to find something to watch.

"You're not being a dick. Maybe we shouldn't go anymore." Cas whispered. He really didn't care if they went or not.

"We can still go out, I'm just in a bad fucking mood right now." He looked over at Cas, "God, you put up with a lot of shit from me."

"It's not putting up with shit, it's being your friend."

"Thanks Cas" he said softly. He couldn't find anything to watch so he just turned off the TV and dropped the remote on the nightstand. He knew that he shouldn't, not in his current state of mind, but he reached for Cas in the dark. It felt like Cas was waiting for him. Their fingers fumbled in the silence, working to get Cas's clothes off. Their mouths met in a breathless frenzy, hands roaming over warm flesh leaving goosebumps in their wake. They rolled, Dean holding Cas against the mattress with his body. A gasp escaped from between Cas's lips when he felt Dean's body heat pull away only to be replaced by calloused but curious hands. Fingers slowly creeping up his stomach, stopping to touch the ripple of every muscle. Palms sliding against his chest followed by full lips sucking and gently biting, lips that finally moved to his neck, bringing blood to the surface of his soft skin. He reached out to pull Dean back to him, his fingertips running gently down his spine, his own body reacting to the visible shiver, caused by his touch. Again, their lips met, tongues sliding against one another, hips rocking, their hard cocks trapped between their bodies. The friction, the warmth radiated between them and Cas felt the moan begin in his chest before it escaped his lips. His palms were pressed flat against the dip of Dean's lower back, pushing them as close together as he could. They rocked harder, faster, moaning and whispering one another's name. Cas felt Dean's body tense before the warm fluid spread across his stomach. Just one more rock of their hips and Cas arched, tilting his head back calling Dean's name as quietly as he could before falling back against the mattress, satiated, breathless, and unable to move. Dean's own body had melted against Cas and he laid with his head on his shoulder, feeling peaceful and weightless. Neither one of them wanted to speak or move, it all felt too gratifying...too real.

Dean hated second guessing himself. He hated wondering if he had just used his best friend, if he had done something wrong. Especially when nothing about it felt wrong.

If Cas could sleep, this is where he'd want to be when he drifted off. Dean's skin was still warm and slicked with sweat. He smelled of sex and faint cologne. He moved his legs, his inner thighs caressing Dean's outer thighs causing Dean to shiver and press his body closer. 

He didn't want to, but Dean finally rolled over in the dark and fumbled for the box of tissues. He cleaned up both of their stomachs and laid back on the bed, feeling Cas's body heat next to him. He still couldn't say anything, even if he could, he didn't know what to say. It was neither awkward or embarrassing, it just was. He felt the mattress against him rise when Cas got up to find his clothes. He could hear the rustling and zipping before he felt Cas's hands on either side of his face. He leaned in for a deep kiss before Dean heard the tell tale fluttering, signaling that Cas was gone. He didn't bother to look for his boxers, he pulled the blankets up over him and fell asleep quickly.

\-------------------------

Dean didn't wake up in disbelief, he didn't wake up feeling like he'd made a mistake, he woke up with a sticky stomach, needing a shower. Once he'd washed the stickiness and smell of sex off of his body he walked into the kitchen and found Sam sitting at the table.

"So no luck last night?" Sam asked him.

"No. It was one of those nights were you buy the drinks but she leaves with the douchebag."

Sam chuckled, "have you wondered how many times you were that douchebag?"

"Huh," Dean said, sitting down with his cup of coffee. "I never thought of it that way."

"I'm guessing Cas had no luck either?"

"You saw him. He ended up here with me, not in bed with some hot chick."

"Hello Dean...Sam." Dean looked up, Cas had a huge mark on his neck and a smaller one at the base of his throat.

Sam turned around, "He may not have gotten laid, but he got something."

Cas sheepishly rubbed his neck, "backed into a corner by an enthusiastic but very drunk dental hygienist."

Dean was impressed by Cas's ability to come up with a story, and deliver it so realistically.

"I wouldn't have felt right leaving with her. She was too intoxicated. I noticed last night that they do karaoke on Thursdays."

Dean was surprised, "Uh, that's great. We can go and I can not make an ass of myself. But you don't have to take video this time. You should come with us Sam. You are always stuck here."

"Maybe I will."

Dean was even more surprised. 

\-------------------------

Sam was actually going out with them. He claimed that he had to see this karaoke thing in person. Cas was upbeat and was starting to be more and more concerned about his appearance. Dean figured that since Sam wasn't much of a drinker, he could get drunk and at least have a ride home if he didn't get a better offer.

People always took notice when Sam walked into a room. He was 6' 4" and that in itself garnered attention. Women always fell for his puppy dog eyes and big dimples, but Sam was picky. He generally didn't go home with anybody. That was fine with Dean, he figured it meant more for him. With Sam's height and dimples, Dean's full lips, and Cas's bluer than blue eyes they quickly amassed a fan club. It was fun, they drank, they laughed, Dean sang. Sam even admitted that his brother was good. Sam watched Cas flirt, and realized that he wasn't bad at it. He was actually pretty charming. Dean had turned him into a hell of a wing man. 

Two hours into the night, Dean came off stage sweaty and buzzed. "Where's Cas?" he yelled into Sam's ear.

"He left with some girl a few minutes ago. Said to tell you good night. I'll give you credit Dean, you pulled it off. Our little angel is growing up."

Dean just chuckled and ordered another drink. The crowd was starting to thin and he hadn't found anyone who really interested him.

"You about ready to go?" Sam asked, holding the car keys.

Dean downed the rest of his drink and nodded. Sam followed him out to the car and they headed home. 

"I don't know if I pulled it off or created a monster. A month ago Cas couldn't order at the drive thru if the voice was female, now he's slutting at the bar."

"Be happy for him. He deserves a good time and I don't think an over eager dental hygienist counts as a good time. You're just annoyed because he won't give you details, aren't you?"

"How did you know that he won't give me details?"

Sam just laughed, "because I know how you are and I know how he is."

\-------------------------

Dean heard the fluttering and saw Cas holding his clothes, "I didn't get a chance to wash them. I was going to just put them in your laundry basket. I hope that's okay."

"That's fine" Dean said, yawning. "What time is it?"

"About 4:00 I think."

"So let me guess, it was good and she seemed to enjoy it?"

"Something like that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I didn't know if you'd be here."

"Struck out, came home with Sam, good times."

"Okay, well goodnight Dean."

"Yeah, 'night Cas." Dean mumbled against his pillow. For probably the millionth time, he told himself that sometimes having an angel for a best friend was pretty fucking weird.

\------------------------

It became a routine, a pattern. Cas and Dean would go out, more often than not Cas's blue eyes and shy countenance would lead him to a night in bed with a stranger. Deans perfect face and charm worked, but not quite as often. He couldn't figure out how Cas was doing it, and Cas wasn't talking. The quiet and scared angel who sported a cheap suit and trenchcoat no longer existed, and Dean kind of missed that angel on the nights that he drove home alone. When they both struck out they always ended up in Dean's bed. Sometimes it was a movie, sometimes it was just a conversation, and sometimes it was an unspoken need to feel each other in the dark. That was something else they never talked about. Cas didn't talk about sex, Cas wouldn't talk about sex, and Dean quit asking.

\-------------------------

Another night, another bar. It was getting harder and harder to find somewhere to go, they'd played the 'passing through town' card enough times that they needed to drive at least two towns away just to get a drink. After Dean finished off his first beer, they decided not to stay. It wasn't their crowd and to be totally honest, neither one of them was really feeling it. Cas hadn't been feeling it at all lately, it was becoming tedious. 

The movie was bad, Dean's glass of scotch was empty, and Cas already knew. With the click of the lamp, he felt hungry arms reach for him. They had learned every inch of each others bodies in the dark. They knew what every moan, every gasp, every sharp intake of breath meant. There was only one line that they hadn't crossed, but Cas was ready. He was distracted by the rough hands and soft lips, his t-shirt falling onto the floor while Dean's fingers slid skillfully along the length of him through his pants. He pressed their lips together, waiting to feel Cas's moan against his mouth. He smiled because he knew that he could please Cas in ways that nobody else could. He buried his face in Cas's neck, moving his full lips across his shoulder and down his collarbone. His fingers quickly unfastened the button and pulled the zipper, freeing Cas's already hard cock. As desperately as he wanted to, he didn't touch it. He slid his hand back up and around Cas's neck, pulling him into a frenzied kiss. Cas pushed his pants to the floor and rolled Dean onto his back, sitting up to straddle him. He reached down and grazed the silky skin of Dean's cock with his fingertips, "sit up" he whispered so quietly that Dean wondered if he'd said anything at all. Dean knew what Cas wanted, and he was desperate to give it to him. With shaking hands he reached to rummage in his nightstand, hoping that he would recognize the bottle of lube by feel alone. He wrapped his fingers around it and set it on the bed next to him. Cas was grinding against him, biting his neck, kissing his jaw line, until he finally pressed their lips together, sliding his tongue against Dean's. Dean moaned, just picturing his slick cock buried deep inside of Cas. The soft glow of the lamp surprised him. His eyes moved from the taut and toned body in front of him, to the soft swollen lips, until finally locking his gaze with those amazing blue eyes. Their hard cocks became trapped between their bodies when Cas leaned in and whispered, "I want you to watch this.." before handing Dean the bottle of lube. Dean felt his cock twitch as he slid a slick finger between their bodies and around Cas's virgin hole, never breaking their gaze. Cas felt the first finger slide inside of him and gasped, the second finger brought tears to his eyes and his pulled his bottom lip between his teeth to keep from crying out. He tried to relax against the rhythmic movement of Dean's fingers until he felt one slide against his prostate. This is what he had been waiting for. He closed his eyes and moaned, pressing his hands against Dean's chest. Dean was still watching Cas's face when he pulled his fingers out and lined up the head of his cock. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before when Cas slid down, taking Dean all of the way inside of him. He let out a loud groan and gripped Cas's hips hard enough to leave bruises. Cas was still so tight Dean knew that he needed time to relax. Cas wrapped his hand around the back of Dean's head and pulled him in for a passionate kiss, he was ready to start moving. Holding Dean's shoulders he started to slowly slide up and down, shifting his body until he felt Dean slide against his prostate with every movement. He could feel himself already building as he wrapped his hand around Dean's wrist and guided it between them, encouraging him to stroke his cock in the same slow rhythm. Dean stroked and watched Cas slide up and down, taking him deep, moaning his name. He rocked his hips and stroked faster, the familiar throbbing was getting stronger and he needed Cas to come soon. His name came out as a strangled cry when he felt Cas come, the sticky fluid dripping between his fingers and on to his stomach. He rocked his hips up for one final deep thrust before he exploded inside of Cas, digging his fingers against his hips, still rocking gently until he finally went limp. They were both panting, unable to catch their breath when Cas cleaned off Dean's stomach and turned the lamp back off. It was the first time they had ever seen each other's bodies. They laid side by side, not talking, not moving, just breathing. When his heart slowed to a regular pace and he was able to breathe evenly, Cas crawled out of the bed, found his clothes, gave Dean a gentle kiss, and disappeared. Dean just lay rooted in place, staring at the dark ceiling until he was finally able reach for the blanket and drift off to sleep. That was the single most satisfying sexual experience he had ever had.

\-------------------------

"What are we doing tonight?" Cas asked. It had been a few days and he was finally able to sit somewhat comfortably.

"Uh...not sure," Dean stuttered. He still hadn't wrapped his head around what had happened between them. 

"Dive bar? Karaoke again? Maybe walk on the wild side and look for something full of bikers? Sam, do you want to come?"

Sam lifted his head and looked at Cas. He had only been out with them the one time, but he'd surprisingly had fun. "Yeah, okay, but I'm not sure about the biker bar thing."

"Okay" Cas grinned, "but if we find karaoke you have to sing."

"What about you Cas? I'll bet you have the..."

"Voice of an angel. I know. Your brother already used that one."

Dean just sat and watched the banter between Sam and Cas. 

"I'll only sing if I get drunk, and if I get drunk who is going to drive?"

"Well, if things don't work out for me, then I can always get us back here. Or you can call a cab."

"Cas, you have banged your way through every bar within a 20 mile radius, that's not a cheap cab ride."

Cas just shrugged. "Sam, you deserve a few drinks. Who knows, maybe it will be a really good night and none of us will have to worry about how to get home. Dean?"

"Uh...yeah...sounds good." Dean wasn't sure exactly what he was agreeing to.

"Sam?"

"Okay, I'll go. But if I get drunk enough to sing, you are NOT allowed to take video. I mean it."

\-------------------------

"Almost 30 miles, Cas. That is how far we had to drive to get here." 

Cas grinned at Sam, "I just follow the rules that Dean taught me. Blame him."

They opened the door, walked into the bar, and instantly drew attention. The men felt vaguely threatened and the women were immediately interested. They each carried their own type of appeal. Sam was tall and friendly looking, but it was obvious that he wouldn't back down from a fight. Dean was all charm and sex with a vibe of disinterest, he was a challenge. Cas was sweet and innocent, the kind of guy that most women figured had a kinky side once you got him alone. They found a table and ordered a round.

"Remember, Sam, you promised."

Sam just looked at Cas and rolled his eyes. He really wanted to get drunk, he really didn't want to sing. "I will if you will."

"Nope, that wasn't the deal," Cas smiled. "Dean will be up there after a couple of beers."

"Yeah, but I can sing." Dean interjected. He'd already looked around and didn't see anything he was interested in, but the night was still young.

Cas nursed his single beer while the brothers drank. Dean sang, he got a round of applause. Sam drank, and still wouldn't follow through with his end of the deal. Cas encouraged him to drink more. The string of interested women was constant, all looking for something different. Some were polite, most were forward. Sam had to very gently convince a girl that no, he did not want her sitting on his lap. Cas spent 10 minutes with his face almost buried in cleavage when one bent down to talk to him. Dean was cornered more than once coming out of the bathroom or off of the stage. It was their night. Sam finally had enough to drink and he took his turn on stage. He was horrible, and Cas did record it. Cas finally got an offer he couldn't refuse and after checking his pocket for condoms, he nodded at the brothers and left. Dean wasn't about to go home alone, so he started buying drinks. He had his pick and finally settled on a brunette who was eager enough, but not trying to feel him up. At a dive bar, that was considered classy. Sam, being picky like he was, called a cab and paid a fortune to be dropped off a mile or two from the bunker, figuring he'd just walk from there. The bunker was hidden, and they'd like to keep it that way. He knew that Dean would have his fun and sober up enough to drive home in the morning. 

\-------------------------

After promising not to wake up her roommate, Dean followed what's-her-name into her bedroom and let himself be pushed onto the bed. She kissed him, and he kissed her back but there wasn't any spark. He hated when this happened, it looks good and seems like a good idea, but the reality isn't what you expect. He tried, she sucked his cock and even though he grew hard, he knew that he wasn't going to come. She rolled on a condom and wrapped her legs around him. She really was a beautiful girl, but he'd obviously had too much to drink. He'd been with a lot of women, into the triple digits he guessed, and he knew that he'd end up dealing with tears if she felt like she couldn't satisfy him. He put on a convincing show before he faked the orgasm and disposed of the condom quickly so that she wouldn't know. He gave her the 'have to get up early' speech, threw his clothes on, and left. She lived close to the bar and he was sober enough to walk back, but not sober enough to drive. As pathetic as he felt, he crawled into the front seat to sleep off the buzz. The sun hadn't even come up yet when he finally started the engine and headed home. He stripped down to his boxers, crawled into bed, and tried to get past how miserable he felt so that he could finally sleep.

\-------------------------

Dean was in the kitchen, fresh out of the shower and drowning his sorrows in a cup of black coffee when Cas showed up to return his clothes, apologizing for not washing them.

"Just go throw them on my floor. I'll deal with them later." He muttered.

"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas asked. Dean was obviously in a foul mood, Cas didn't know whether he should stay or leave. This is where best friend protocol got murky for him. He didn't always know what to expect.

"I'm peachy, Cas. Just go drop the clothes on my fucking floor."

"Dean..."

"You know what, just fucking keep them. They're better than that suit anyway."

They locked eyes and Dean could see Cas's frustration as he dropped the pile on the kitchen table, "Don't blame me if you had a bad night." Cas whispered before he turned to walk away.

Dean grabbed his arm and turned him around, forcing Cas to meet his eyes. "Bad night? You have no idea what kind of night I had. We don't talk about it, remember?" He could feel the anger, the resentment building. He didn't even know why he was upset with Cas.

That's when Sam walked in, looking like he'd been hit by a truck.

"What in the hell is going on with you two?" he asked, pouring a cup of coffee, wondering if he really wanted to know.

"Just a little heart to heart. Swapping stories." Dean smiled sarcastically.

Cas had taken a step back and was blocking the door, there was no way for Sam to make a quick exit. All he knew was that he did not want to be in the room with these two right now. Dean had that look in his eye, and Cas didn't look much calmer.

"Why does it bother you so much that I won't talk about my personal life? You already know things...."

"Cas..." Dean warned.

"What? You want me to open up and tell you all about it. You already know a lot from personal experience, Dean."

Sam silently pulled a chair into a corner, wishing that he could be anywhere else. He had an idea of what Cas was talking about, and he knew that this could get very ugly very quickly.

"That's not what this is about."

"Because Sam is in the room? Or because you just want to pretend that those nights when your testosterone fueled heterosexual hands reached for me in the dark never happened?"

Oh shit...Sam really did not want to be here.

"So that's what you want to talk about?" A part of Dean had always known that this conversation was eventually going to happen.

"I don't want to talk about any of it, Dean. You have no idea what happens after I walk out of that door with some nameless woman. Is telling you every detail of my personal life supposed to be a bonding thing? Because I obviously don't always understand how this best friend thing works." Cas replied.

"You wouldn't even have a personal life if it wasn't for me. Apparently that was a big mistake on my part, so never mind. I don't want to know a damn thing." 

"No, Dean. You want to talk, I'll talk. I've been with what, over a dozen women by now? Twice I couldn't get it up. I spent hours comforting some random girl with mascara running down her face, lying, trying to convince her that it wasn't her fault it was the alcohol, and I don't even drink. There have been at least four or five times that I couldn't finish. I blamed it on the alcohol again the first time, and then I just started faking it. I think we both know where I learned what it's supposed to sound like, what it's supposed to feel like. And the times that I have been able to finish? I had to think about something else just to get through it. I didn't think that was really worth mentioning considering that what I thought about was 'no big deal and nobody needs to know'. There you go, there's your insight into my incredible sex life. I've just been hoping that eventually it would be normal, but it isn't. I'm done trying. I'm sorry I can't be whatever in the hell it is you wanted. Drop your clothes on your own floor. I don't need them anymore." and he turned to walk out. Dean reached for him again, but he pulled away and left, disappearing after he made it out of the doorway.

"It's not fucking fair that you can just drop that shit on me and fucking disappear." Dean yelled. He sunk down into a chair and leaned his head back, rubbing his forehead. "Good morning, Sam. Do you need some Tylenol for that hangover."

"I think I'd rather just go back to bed."

"Oh" Dean said, sitting up and looking at his brother. "You didn't enjoy the show?"

"I seriously don't even know what to say. If I ask, you'll just shut me down. Which, by the way, is bullshit. You blew up on Cas for not telling you what was going on, but you always sit back and tell me that you don't want to talk. Quit being such a goddamn hypocrite." Normally Sam wouldn't even consider talking to his brother like this, but he was hungover and sick of Dean's shit. "I'm going back to bed, but you need to know that he may never come back and you will have no one to blame but yourself. You probably should have thought about that before you started any of this. You can't have it both ways."

\-------------------------

Dean was left alone in the kitchen, and Dean was pissed off. He was pissed off because Sam and Cas were right. He'd wanted a wing man, he'd wanted a hook up, he'd wanted a lover, hell...he didn't know what he wanted. This was going to be one of those days when he just needed to get in his car and drive with the music loud. 

\-------------------------

"I've tried calling for him. Hell, I've tried calling him on his phone, which I never have to do, and he isn't responding. It's been over a week, Sam. He's been pissed at me before, really pissed at me, but not like this."

"I don't blame him."

"What?" Dean asked, looking at his brother from across the table. "You're my brother, you're supposed to be on my side."

"Not when you're wrong. Listen Dean, you screwed up and you screwed up big time. You were a selfish prick. You claim that Cas is your best friend, but you used him."

"Okay, I screwed up big time, I know that, but I never used Cas."

"Really?" Sam asked. "Because it certainly looks like you did. You dragged him into your game, and then made him a part of it."

"Maybe you don't want to hear this, but he would spend the night with me and then go looking to warm someone else's bed the next night."

"And where did he learn that from, Dean?"

"God Sam, give me a little credit. It's not like I seduced him and then left him in my bed while I went looking for pussy."

"You didn't seduce him?"

"Not really. Not intentionally. Listen, I'm not going to explain how that all got started, it just did. He's the one who kept wanting to go out. He's the one who was hooking up. You can't put this all on me."

Sam just sighed, Dean had a point. "Okay, maybe you're right. But he was scared and probably confused as hell. Even if you didn't use him, he thinks that you did. You may not want to hear this, but nobody is ever going to care about you the way that Cas does. I don't think that you can fix this, and that sucks. He was my friend too."

Dean just dropped his head into his hands. He'd fucked up, he knew that, but he was confused too. "I'm sorry, Sam. I'll figure something out. I have to."

\-------------------------

Cas was surprised when Sam called him. At first he thought that maybe Sam was going to try to play interference between Dean and him, but he sounded sincere when he asked if they could meet up and talk. He and Sam had never been close, but they were still friends. At this point he was the closest thing that Cas had to a friend. Cas didn't know why he'd suggested meeting for a drink, he didn't want to be at the bar, but it was the first thing that popped into his head. He checked the clock on the wall and took a sip of his drink, a drink that actually tasted good, not a bottle of beer for appearances. He stared at the TV that he couldn't hear and tried to ignore the crowd behind him. If he got jostled or shoved by one more person trying to get the bartender's attention he was just going to call Sam and tell him they'd have to meet another time. It didn't take long before he felt someone sidle up behind him. He'd had it, he didn't want to be there anymore. He swallowed the last of his drink and turned around. All he saw were those green eyes.

"Cas, stop, don't. Please...just hear me out."

"How did you talk Sam into doing this?" Cas felt betrayed. 

"I let him tell me how big of an asshole I am. I let him list off all of the things that I've done wrong. And then I told him my side of the story."

"I thought we made both sides pretty clear the last time we talked." Cas wanted to cry, he didn't want to be sitting this close to Dean.

"I was a dick the last time we talked, but you blindsided me, Cas. You threw all of that at me and left before I could say anything."

Cas dropped his head, "I was angry. I shouldn't have said most of what I said. Especially in front of Sam."

"Hey," Dean said, lifting Cas's chin up, "look at me. I don't give a shit about Sam being there."

"But you're str...."

"No Cas, I'm sorry. That's what I am. I tried to make you into something your not, into something I never even wanted you to be. I miss you man..."

Cas couldn't help it, he knew that he was going to cry. He had to get out of there. "I'm sorry Dean, I can't do this." 

Dean reached out and grabbed his arm before he could leave, "You know, when Sam ripped into me one of the first things that he said was that I used you. I never used you, Cas. Not once. I only have one regret and that is the nights when I brought you to dumps like this and encouraged you to do something that you didn't even want to do. Why didn't you tell me, Cas? Why did you keep doing it, going home with them?"

"Because I thought that's what you wanted. You wanted a wing man to help you meet women. The only reason anything ever happened between...us was because of your rules and your lessons. I don't know why it kept happening, but it was a mistake."

"Why was it a mistake?"

Cas pulled his arm out of Dean's grip and started walking away. He didn't understand why Dean was doing this. He could hear Dean calling his name through the crowd, coming after him, but he couldn't disappear until he was outside. Hopefully the parking lot was empty and nobody would see him. He was just waiting for a couple to walk inside when Dean finally grabbed him from behind and spun him around, holding him by his arms. "You want me to leave you alone, I can see that. But first tell me why it was a mistake."

"Because it's not who you are, Dean."

"So who am I, Cas?"

"You're str..."

"No, Cas, I'm sorry." Dean dropped his hands to Cas's hips and leaned in to kiss him, "Sam told me that I can't have it both ways. He's right. I was happier when you were in my bed than I was when I left a place like this to be in someone else's, I just didn't know what to do with that." 

"You said that it wasn't a big deal. You said that nobody needed to know about it."

"I was stupid, I was wrong, I was lying to myself. It is a big deal, Cas and I don't care who knows about it. We can walk back into that bar right now and I will kiss you in the middle of the room if you'd let me. I can't have it both ways, I don't want it both ways. I don't know what it is that you want, but I want you. Watching stupid movies, talking about anything and everything, and staying in my bed instead of kissing me goodbye after we have the best sex that I've ever had. It's you, Cas."

"That's really what you want?" Cas whispered, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

Dean reached out and cradled Cas's face in his hands, "more than anything." He pulled Cas against him and gave him a long lingering kiss. "I don't need a wing man, I need my angel."


End file.
